Dear Wisdom Wizard,
I have been getting very stressed out lately. I know that it is common for
college students to get stressed, but I have been feeling like things are more
out of control lately. I've noticed that even times when I am out with friends,
I cannot seem to relax. Do you think I am losing it or what?
Seriously Stressed
Dear Seriously Stressed,
You are right when you say that college students experience an unusual amount of
pressure. They are required to juggle many different responsibilities including
class work, part- or full-time jobs, student organizations, family pressures, and
a social life. This can certainly make someone feel like they are losing
control. Attempting to do too much can lead to less effective work, less
enjoyment out of life, and increased feelings of anxiety. It might sound a bit
unusual but sometimes it is "better to do less in attempting to do
more."
I would like to recommend a good book that deals directly with the issues
related to stress in our lives. It is called "Don't Sweat The Small
Stuff.. And It's All Small Stuff - Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things
From Taking Over Your Life" by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. It is a very easy to
read book with suggestions and tips about reducing stress in our lives and
focusing on what is important in life. I hope you find the book helpful and good
luck with your mid-semester stress.
Wisdom Wizard
Dear Wisdom Wizard,
Hi. I am a first year student who is here due to a lot of
financial assistance on the part of the college. I also work two jobs off campus
just to make ends meet. Recently, I have been feeling really pressured (in terms
of classes) and out of place (in terms of how I don't quite fit in with the
financial support of the average student.) I have been working extra hours so
I can go out with my friends on the weekend, but I think my grades are starting
to suffer. It all seems like so much, and I feel so overwhelmed. What do you
recommend?
Yours truly,
Overload
Dear Overload,
It sounds like you have a lot of determination and drive to be here at
college. College can be one of the most rewarding and stimulating times of your life, and yet you seem to
have so much more to worry about than what you consider to be the
"average" student. Perhaps one of the most important things you could
do right now is to prioritize what is really important to you. You need to
evaluate (for yourself) how important grades are when compared to going out with
your friends and/or working two jobs. After you clarify your priorities, you can
then move onto exploring different ways of scheduling your time and budgeting
your money. Perhaps you could look into campus jobs, which might be a little
more sympathetic to your study needs. Most importantly, you need to take care of
yourself; get plenty of rest, eat well, exercise, and all of the little things
that tend to fall by the wayside as we get busy. If you need help prioritizing
things in your life, scheduling your time, or learning stress management
techniques the Counseling Center is available as a resource.
Good luck.
Respectfully,
Wisdom Wizard
Dear Wisdom Wizard,
I am in a strange situation at work. My boss doesn't seem to like me personally,
though she does admit that I do a great job. I take a great deal of pride in my
work and it bothers me that my boss is always looking over my shoulder just
waiting for me to make a mistake. I'll admit that I don't really care for her
either, but I have always treated her with respect. She seems to take personal
delight in putting me down. Other employees have noticed the way she treats me
and have made comments about it. I don't know how to make the situation better
without getting fired. I refuse to suck up to her just to keep my job. Any
suggestions?
Signed,
NOT Employee of the Month
Dear NOT Employee of the Month,
Wisdom Wizard is sorry to hear of your difficult work situation, but you might
be surprised to find out that these situations are not as unusual as you might
think. It is clear to Wisdom Wizard that you are asking for some specific
suggestions about what you should do in this situation. Wisdom Wizard does have
some suggestions, but only you will know what is right for you to do. One
possible solution to the dilemma might be to discuss the tension between you and
your boss directly with your boss. Using "I" statements and talking
about your own feelings can be much more helpful than statements directed toward
your boss such as "You are always putting me down." Another possible
solution to your problem involves externalizing your boss' beliefs about you in
order to maintain your self-confidence. In other words, thinking things such as
"I know I am doing a good job regardless of what my boss thinks about
it," can be especially helpful. Once again, only you know the solution
that is best for your specific problem. Your determination to do a good job,
despite adverse circumstances, makes a strong statement about your character and
work ethic. I believe that if you continue doing a good job, find ways to
communicate with your boss, and seek support from friends and co-workers, you
will make improvement with your work situation. All of these efforts, however,
may not relieve all of the tensions or change your boss's behavior. You may also
need to consider changing jobs or work units if the situation does not improve
over time. Good luck in dealing with this difficult situation.
Wisdom Wizard